Why I keep healing art journals
Sometimes I feel like I am no longer needed in this world. Thank goodness this feeling passes because I think we all need to be needed. This past weekend was a hard one for me. Since the murder of my son 5 years ago the month of his birthday, October, has become one of memories both good and bad as well as fears that Kyles murderer will be released from prison to kill again. Kyle was his second victim he (the killer) was on probation working at the Salvation army shelter. My son was temporarily living at the shelter while sorting out his meds for shizophrenia. He had just been diagnosed finally a couple of months before and we were all hoping for him to move back home once he was stable again. He never had the chance the man who killed him was on the prowl in a place where the weak gathered. He will kill again if he gets out he is compelled to kill. There was no anger or rage in the killing he hog tied my son and did things to him before he finally strangled him. Poor Kyle never had a chance, but luckily Valkonen never had a chance to get Kyles body out of the building, which is why he was caught. The three weeks my son lay under his bed wrapped in garbage bags close to the radiator gave him away eventually. But he only got 15 years in jail and has served 5 years now. So time is all I have to pass while I worry about the outcome of this whole thing. Will he get out to kill again or will the powers that be see the craziness he tries to hide? I shudder to think. But in the mean time I have my art journals. They are helping me to get things out rather than stuffing them down inside of me where they could do the most damage. Are the Journals Pretty? no, but art doesn't have to be, not all the time anyway. They are powerful tools of healing and I am so glad to have found art. It has saved my sanity more times than I can count.
posted by The Joyful Artist @ 10:00 a.m.
4 Comments:
It is good that you have found an outlet. Not everyone does and it is important, I believe. When my husband died, I almost went into a depression. I still have to fight that every day, but I have found my way of dealing with my emotions and thoughts. Take care and I ams ending a big hug your way.
{{{{{HUG}}}}}
Thanks so much Diane. Thanks so much for the big hug. I am feeling it and it's lovely and warm like you.
Hugs Cin
Thinking of you dear Cyn. I hope you know that you are very needed in this world, and that your healing journals are inspirational for everyone who has been through hell.
Though my hell story is no where near the magnitude yours, I know that every painting I make tells the story...even when I'm not trying, there they are, the little damaged babies. I heard once that every artist tells the same story...over and over again. And, I believe that our stories are very important...especially when we are letting them work to heal ourselves.
Bravo girlfriend. I'm so happy you are on this planet.
love,
Alex
I'm so glad you've found a way to express your feelings through your art. What an inexpressibly difficult thing to have to deal with! Bless you, Cindy, for having the courage to face the enormous grief and anger and still live joyfully for the rest of us!
(((Hug)))
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